


Eyes Wide (Open)

by atrosie



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-19 03:02:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3593922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atrosie/pseuds/atrosie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Toby's eye surgery does not go as planned. Because nothing in his life ever does. A Transcendence AU fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eyes Wide (Open)

**Author's Note:**

> It's been years since I've written anything, but I 've been inspired by this AU and particularly Toby. Constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated.

Eyes Wide (Open)

“And we walk the plank  
With our eyes wide open.”  
Eyes Wide Open, Gotye

For CH and IH - thank you for quickly growing out of “The Wiggles” and into “Gravity Falls”. I’d much rather hum “The Final Countdown” then “Captain Feathersword”.

* * *

Toby know something was wrong the moment he woke up. His head hurt - actually, his whole body hurt in a way it hadn’t in a while, but his head was definitely the worst. His throat was sore, and he was so very tired - and there were still two eyes in his head.

He sat up quickly, too quickly, and was hit by a round of nausea and even more pain. But there was movement on his right and a comforting hand on his back and a familiar voice reassuring him that everything was fine, that he was okay, he just needed to take some deep breaths.

The breathing hurt too but made the nausea go away, and he was finally able to open his eyes and catch his guardian’s worried look as he pulled away.

“Better?” Alcor asked, and he nodded.

“What happened?” The last thing Toby remembered was the nurse putting a mask on him and telling him to count back from ten.

“You had a severe allergic reaction to the anesthesia,” the demon told him. “Your throat and face swelled up and you couldn’t breathe, and your asthma made it worse. They had to give you two shots of epinephrine, a steroid for the swelling, and a breathing treatment.”

“Oh,” Toby said. He stared at his hands, at the IV line in his arm. “So what now?”

“Dr. Tusa recommended a good allergist. They want to do some in-office skin tests to see if there’s anything else you might be allergic to. Hopefully this is the only medication.”

“And if it’s not?” He looked at Alcor from under his bangs. “What if I’m allergic to all the other anes - anes -”

“Anesthetics?”

“Yeah. Then they can’t do the surgery.” He looked back at his hands. “Maybe I don’t deserve to have two good eyes.”

Alcor didn’t say anything for a few minutes, and when Toby finally glanced up, he saw that Alcor’s eyes had changed from Tyrone’s plain brown ones to the demon’s black-and-gold. He kept staring into the distance, and Toby kept quiet.

Because he didn’t deserve two good eyes, just like he didn’t deserve a nice house and good food and clean clothes that actually fit. He had changed the world and destroyed someone’s life, and that was something that karma shouldn’t forget.

A nurse bustled in, all soft curves and lots of dark curls, and beamed at him. “Good to see you’re awake,” she said cheerfully. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” he said quietly, and beside him Alcor - Tyrone - snorted.

“His head hurts and he was nauseas when he woke up.”

The nurse nodded. “The anesthesia can do that. And I’m sure all the other medications after didn’t help.” She studied Toby, who had gone back to staring at his hands. “I can get you some Tylenol, Toby, and I can ask the doctor and the pharmacist if we can give you something for the nausea.”

Toby didn’t look up, but he did nod, and he caught Tyrone’s smile out of the corner of his eye.

“That would be great, thanks.”

* * *

After the nurse had left, Alcor studied Toby. The boy’s aura was a maelstrom of colors, all muted grays and browns and deep, dark blue. Possibly because of the headache. But beneath all that, through the link that they shared, the connection that bound them together, he could sense the overwhelming guilt.

And yeah, the kid’s soul had a lot of shit to make up for. And maybe Alcor had only taken him in to keep an eye on him, keep him from becoming Bill. That didn’t mean that Toby deserved just one good eye. And it didn’t mean that he had to keep beating himself up for something he hadn’t done. Alcor was starting to realize that carrying around that kind of burden could push the kid more to the Bill end of things than anything else life could throw at him.

He eyed Toby. He looked so small in the hospital bed, hooked up to an IV, messy hair (and hadn’t it just been cut?) hanging in his eyes. He watched a tear run down, quickly followed by another, and his mind abruptly made itself up. If he was gonna do this, he was going to do it right.  
* * *

The mattress shifted beneath him, and suddenly there was a warmth beside him, and a comforting arm around his shoulders. Toby sniffled, too ashamed and miserable to look up.

“Toby,” Alcor started, “I know . . . I know I haven’t always been nice to you. I yell at you for things you haven’t done -”

“But I did!”

“No, Bill did. And yeah, you have his soul, but that wasn’t your choice. And you’re not him. And I need to stop blaming you for- for everything he did. But you also need to stop blaming yourself.

“You need to stop believing that you don’t deserve good things. You need to stop taking credit for things that have gone wrong that you’ve had nothing to do with! So you’re allergic to an anesthetic - that’s because of your body, not your soul. And it doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve two good eyes.

“You’re a good kid, and you can do good things.”

Toby was crying openly now, burying his face in his hands. “But I have done bad things!” he wailed. “The church burned down because of me!”

“Toby, the church burned down because someone thought it would be funny to summon a demon on hold ground. Not your fault.”

“Then why was I the only one who survived?”

“I don’t know,” Alcor said, gently rubbing the boy’s back. The sobbing eventually turned to quiet whimpers and small shudders beneath his hand. “Maybe the universe has something planned for you, something only you can do.”

Toby sniffled and raised his head. “Haven’t I already done enough?”

“Toby.” He caught his eye. “That wasn’t you.” He held the boy’s gaze long enough for him to know he meant it, and Toby nodded, sniffled again, and leaned back, careful to leave a few inches between them. Alcor wasn’t a cuddler as a rule, and Toby wasn’t going to push his luck. But the arm around his shoulders tightened, pulling him closer, and with his head still hurting and his heart aching, Toby took the opportunity to snuggle into the demon’s side.

Alcor picked up the TV remote. “Want to see if “Magical Girl Mizar” is on?”

* * *

Alcor knew this wasn’t over, for either of them. Toby may have nodded and understood, but old habits died hard, and he clearly still believed everything was his fault.

And that was on Alcor’s head too. Toby had been just a pathetic street orphan when he’d found him in an alley. Even then, the boy had been apologetic about asking for food or money, and he’d made everything worse by recognizing Bill and flipping out.

So that whole forgetting/blame thing was something they both needed to work on, because while Alcor wanted the boy to know that everything had consequences, sometimes even centuries later, he also wanted him to be strong and confident enough to make the right choices. Guilt and blame just made one easier to manipulate, and Alcor wanted him cautious and smart. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to forgive, but if it helped both of them, maybe he could try to forget?

The plump nurse came back in with two syringes, and she smiled to see the two of them snuggled on the bed. That Tyrone was just so cute with his son, and she knew the allergic reaction had scared him, even if he tried to hide it. 

“This one is the Tylenol, and this is the nausea medication,” she explained, holding up each syringe. They watched her inject them into an IV port, and she told them it would be a few minutes before the drugs kicked in.

“Thank you,” Toby said, giving her a shy smile. The nurse smiled back.

“You’re welcome, sweetness.”

She glanced back before walking out, watching as Tyrone and Toby laughed at something on the TV, and knew they’d be alright.

* Fin *


End file.
